A Word (or Two) on Robin Thicke

Robin Thicke

By Safa

My first impression on Robin Thicke is not a favourable one. This is none of his fault, as he cannot help the way that he fundamentally looks, but I still cannot warm to him, at all. The reason is because his face looks like Simon Cowell’s, sans Botox and ever-present lascivious smirk.  Well, maybe the second part is untrue, because once I saw the Blurred Lines video, his future became horrifyingly clear: the rag mag covers, proclamations of how much he enjoyed ‘last night’ with both dwarf sisters, or garden gnomes, or Katie Price/Amanda Bynes (the American Version).

He is set to become an utter banality, only to be followed by frustrated men who take their cues from watching the models in his videos pose bizarrely with fake furry lambs and try his chat-up lines, which probably amount to him going introducing himself as: Thicke, Robin Thicke, while drawling and striking poses as if he were on the cover of GQ.

This is no far-off future; just take the ideas from Blurred Lines, where Thicke surrounds himself with semi-naked models with distressed and bored looks in their eyes while he tries to sing in a suit in the background. If Mr Thicke is trying to assert his sexuality, he should try not singing so high as to give pose to the question of whether or not he is a eunuch. Maybe, next time, sing lower.

If you ever have so much time to kill, may I suggest that you type in ‘Blurred Lines Feminist Parody’? Don’t you worry, it is actually worth seeing, as I would not ask you to watch it if it were boring and totally pointless. It is basically the opposite of the video, fully-clothed women being the Alpha gender while they force men in tiny Calvin Klein boxers to do push-ups while singing about how sick of Robin Thicke they are.  Which seems to me to be a proper vocation.

Of course, comments started inundating the collective inboxes of the three women post-parody upload. These were to do with highlighting the obvious ‘sexism’ in the video (despite their disclaimer at the start that no men had been harmed during the making of the video, which is more that R.T. ever bothered to do.)

Quite frankly, it’s brilliant. It’s funny and it makes sense. And it illustrates a point. All of the lines (apart from the strange one about feminist cakes and Marie Antoinette) are pretty much correct.

Even better is the ‘Robin Thicke Blurred Lines Parody’, which wins, feat. Kingsley and other YouTubers who actually understand why the world is so outraged at Thicke. If you have to watch anything tonight, watch that. And then subscribe to Kingsley.

My advice? Just laugh. Hopefully, the time you spend laughing at the ridiculousness of this man will last you long enough until he is forgotten. Let’s hope that he goes the same way as Cher Lloyd: a flash, a badly-timed bang and then a ritual admittance into the bad books of the Daily Mail.

Image: by cityyear on Flickr (CC-BY-NC-ND 2.0).

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