Principal Leads Fashion Trend

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By I’ll Have Fries with that Satire

As seen in Pegasus Pages (Summer 2014)

One would have had to have been in a cave for the past year to have failed to notice that the latest fashion trend to grace the Marble Corridor is the velvet scrunchie.

Pegasus Pages has received a tip-off that the source of this latest craze is CLC’s own Principal. Never seen without her hair in an immaculately neat bun, the Principal’s hair scrunchies which tie up this sparkly little up-do are currently ‘so hot right now.’

“Like, a flamboyant, pseudo-vintage, velvet scrunchie in a colour of like, our choice is about as far as we can go to like, express our own indie personalities without warranting ourselves a like, demerit,” one student explains. When asked what she thought about buying the same commercial accessory as a kindergartener, she replied, “Like, no, no! This is like, vintage. From ASOS Market Place. Indie. So not mainstream like regular ASOS.”

One Young Enterprise group this year decided to capitalise on the trend and they are rumoured to have made themselves a small fortune, paying for all of their Secret Garden Party festival tickets this year.

“I hear it’s a symbol; a metaphor. Scrunch. The sound of oppression,” an English teacher whispered to us.

“It used to be the ‘CLC birds’ nest’ which every girl sported. Now it’s a little swishing pony-tail or bun with a velveteen scrunchie at the top,” says a visiting Guild member.

“In my opinion the girls’ hair still looks too messy. I think it’d be more appropriate if the girls all went bald. It’d look so much neater with the new uniform.”

A recent survey found that 63.45% of girls in LC1A wear scrunchies. Pelo Desordenado told us, “Our class Prefect wore a red one and she is basically a Goddess. So we decided to express our adoration for her by imitating her hairstyle. She stopped coming to tutor time after that. But that was actually probably because Tilly and Milly and Hilly tried to smell her so that they could work out which perfume she was wearing and copy that too. Yeah, don’t write that down.”

It has also been rumoured that Environmental Society will be teaming up with Textiles students and selling their own Fair-Trade scrunchies made of elephant dung.

“These eco-friendly products would not only be saving the environment, but also helping your street cred with their à la mode status”, a spokesperson told us. We suppose that the smell will come free with the scrunchies. What a bargain!

This article was written in accordance to its CBay bid won by Isabella Salerno

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