Jenny’s World Cup Musings

World Cup

By Jenny Laurence

As seen in Pegasus Pages (Summer 2014)

For those who haven’t been following the 2014 Brazil World Cup, I can wholeheartedly tell you that you are missing out. Why? Because of the things we expected, and the things we certainly didn’t.

Things we did expect:

England’s poor performance – Although no one could’ve imagined that we’d only get a single point. We were never going to win the world cup, but at least one game might’ve been nice. The sad thing is that we actually didn’t play that badly. Our young players are very promising; they just need more time.

Luis Suarez – If he hadn’t scored any of his goals all tournament, we would be through the group stage. But he isn’t the best Premier League footballer for nothing. And his teeth ‘accidentally’ came into contact with Chiellini (Italy). Surprise surprise.

FIFA’s attitude – Somehow, only four months of no football is an appropriate sentence for Suarez’s third dental incident (the maximum is two years). Although, would FIFA ever do the proper thing? *Bored sigh*

Things we didn’t expect:

Group match wins – Costa Rica beating football giant Italy, and the Netherlands beating previous World Cup winners Spain 5-1 in a rematch of the 2010 final are only two examples. (Fun Fact: Spain had not been mullered so hard with five goals against them since 1968, against Scotland!) I mean, woah. On top of that, neither Spain nor Portugal advanced to the next 16. Genuinely how is this possible?

Rooney to actually score – One of the world-famous footballers, and the representative Brit in Nike’s brilliant ‘Risk everything’ ad, had never scored in a World Cup before, despite having had three other chances. We were beginning to doubt him. But then he actually scored against Uruguay. It was sad that we lost anyway, so it barely counts. If only he’d scored some more… No-one’s happy if you don’t actually win.

The dark horse of the World Cup – Belgium is actually top of its group. They didn’t even qualify for the World Cup in South Africa. I’d watch out for them.

Christiano Ronaldo’s hair –He’s never been as bad as Beckham when it comes to hair styles, but that little firework on the side of his head was just a big no-no. It wasn’t even for the ill child whose operation he offered to pay for – that never ended up happening. And now he’s shaved it off for a mohawk look. I guess we’ll never understand…

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