Tag Archives: Humour

Jenny’s World Cup Musings

World Cup

By Jenny Laurence

As seen in Pegasus Pages (Summer 2014)

For those who haven’t been following the 2014 Brazil World Cup, I can wholeheartedly tell you that you are missing out. Why? Because of the things we expected, and the things we certainly didn’t.

Principal Leads Fashion Trend

DSC_1510

By I’ll Have Fries with that Satire

As seen in Pegasus Pages (Summer 2014)

One would have had to have been in a cave for the past year to have failed to notice that the latest fashion trend to grace the Marble Corridor is the velvet scrunchie.

Pegasus Pages has received a tip-off that the source of this latest craze is CLC’s own Principal. Never seen without her hair in an immaculately neat bun, the Principal’s hair scrunchies which tie up this sparkly little up-do are currently ‘so hot right now.’

When YouTube Became NoTube

A shop burns as riot police try to conta

By Sam Goh

(As seen in Pegasus Pages, March 2014)

It was a bright cold Wednesday in March, and the clocks were striking seventeen. Girls sat at their desks desperately racing to finish overdue prep before the celebratory mood of the last week of term kicked in and rendered the entire student population unproductive and in a state of elated vegetation. That was when the study music stopped. Refreshing twice, we found that the glorious YouTube had been blocked. A certain SFC2 in St. Hilda’s streaked across the corridor from her bathtub to discover in desperation if this was true. Chaos and confusion reigned CLC for a night.

Wanderings of a Staunch Sherlockian

Sherlock - Ella

Sherlock‘s third season has aired since this article was first published, so let us know what you think about the new season in your comments below!

By Ella Halliday

(As seen in Pegasus Pages, December 2013)

After the announcement of an air date for American Sherlock viewers, in a typically Sherlockian style (a hurst with ‘Sherlock’ spelt out in roses roaming around the streets of London), the return of the consulting detective and his doctor has been at the forefront of many minds. As an obsessively dedicated fan, I celebrated the news by taking a short train journey to London for a Sherlock centric day.

Hand Dryers: A Load of Hot Air?

HDs

By Rebecca MacKay

(As seen in Pegasus Pages, December 2013.)

Some of you are going to dislike this article. Why?

I’m going to advocate the use of paper. I know. Global Warming, the polar bears, the melting ice, the toxins in our atmosphere that will all ultimately result in the total destruction of society as we know it within the next week.

Looking Back on Controversial Summer Tunes

Yeezus

As it’s chilly December, we thought we’d let you reminisce about the music of those summer days of blissful sunshine. ‘Tofe Ayeni puts some of the most talked-about songs and albums of last summer under the magnifying glass.

A Word (or Two) on Robin Thicke

Robin Thicke

By Safa

My first impression on Robin Thicke is not a favourable one. This is none of his fault, as he cannot help the way that he fundamentally looks, but I still cannot warm to him, at all. The reason is because his face looks like Simon Cowell’s, sans Botox and ever-present lascivious smirk.  Well, maybe the second part is untrue, because once I saw the Blurred Lines video, his future became horrifyingly clear: the rag mag covers, proclamations of how much he enjoyed ‘last night’ with both dwarf sisters, or garden gnomes, or Katie Price/Amanda Bynes (the American Version).

Colour Green New Cause of Fatal Illness: CLC in Chaos

Green

By I’ll Have Fries with that Satire

News has reached CLC that, according to a British tabloid, scientists have discovered that the colour green is a cause of a new and unknown fatal illness. The school has exploded into colourful chaos which can only have catastrophic consequences.

20 Things to Avoid if You Are a Fanatic Facebook Freak

Facebook

By Cyber Jellyfish

Dear all Fanatic Facebook Freaks,

Please take careful note of the below points of what your most annoying social networking habits are. This is for the good of humanity, to prevent depression and suicide among other Facebook users, and just generally to prove that human kind is redeemable. The misuse and abuse of Facebook currently indicates that it is not, to the extent that the newsfeed pollution I have been forced to scroll through makes social networking a painful experience every weekend (because we only ever go on Facebook at the weekends, obviously).

Spherical Cups New to GCR

By I’ll Have Fries with that Satire

It has been reported that sphere-shaped cups are being rolled into action at water coolers and milk machines around College.

“They’re really fun to play with,” says an LC1. “But not so fun as to make me late to Period 5 or to miss the 1s’ Bookie Breaktime.”

Creative and circular, these cups of joy are multi-purpose and can be used to play croquet on the lawn outside in the summer months, or to kick around and ‘play ball’ and generally do exercise, if you like that sort of thing. They’ve been an instant hit around Lower College, next to the jugs of squash.

It has been noted that they also really help to bring textbooks to life; Maths teachers have been seen to be scavenging the bins, feverishly un-crumpling the rubbished cups to use as visual aids in their GCSE classes.

As ever, The Environmental Club pledges that they’re 100% eco-friendly. A spokesman comments: “They are biodegradable and are recycled from old toilet paper. They’ve been sterilised. I think.”

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