Tag Archives: Humour

Cone Half Full or Half Empty?

By Sam Goh

DISCLAIMER:I am aware that they stopped giving us custard donuts a’er my previous article. Fingers crossed for better luck here. ASK anyone studying at CLC and they will gladly speak of the oppressive and overbearing presence that the infamous cone cup has upon us. Today, we reminisce about the glory days of when cups could actually stand on flat surfaces.

The days when we had been bestowed with the almighty plastic (and more importantly, flat-bottomed) cup; the days when we didn’t require multiple refills of water just to quench the eternal thirst of the prep- ravaged CLC girl, and above all, the days when the cups weren’t shaped so that the milk machine inevitably spurts milk all over your hand (yes, you know what I’m talking about).

Admittedly though, if the purpose of the cone cup was to stop girls from using disposable cups and bringing their own water bottles, they have been quite a success. But then again, if their purpose was also to drive those of us without the sense to bring a state-of-the-art ‘Bobble’ water bottle to the brink of dehydration, it has also been quite a success.

First of all, let me ask you: when was the last time in College you used a cup that was able to stand on its own without having to be propped up by your hand or wedged between tables? Indeed, it has been a while. Yet one wonders what merit there is in having a pointy-tip rather than a nice, flat bottom. None. Hang on a second – why were pointy cones even invented?

And who here hasn’t complained about the almost disgustingly diminutive size of the cone cup? Nothing less than two refills are required so as to even hold a candle to the enormous water-carrying capacity of the plastic cup and at least three refills to properly occupy the behemothic, concave abyss that are our mouths. How are we meant to continue to uphold the reputation of academic, dignified CLC girls if our brains are withering from fluid deficiency? Not to mention the excessive amounts of water required by females so as to uphold our transcendent superiority above the male race.

And of course: milk. Everyone loves milk. So pure, so white, chock- full of calcium (bye bye osteoporosis) and triacylglycrols… What’s there not to love? Yet the cone cup has proved quite a hindrance in our attempts to obtain this milk. It it has come to our (most devastated) attention that the dynamics of the cup were constructed such that it lacks the damping ability which would be required to dissipate the large amounts of kinetic energy in the milk and properly contend with the outburst and ridiculously accelerated velocity at which the milk machine excretes milk. Put simply, it requires much skill and talent to be able to dispense milk from the milk machine without it spurting explosively everywhere. It’s happened to all of us.

However, of late we have seen signs of rebellion, little glimmers of hope. Ever since the Christmas holidays, there have been those glorious days of victory where the plastic cups have prevailed and reappeared.

I hear it in the wind; a revolution is coming. Our pleas for change are not going unheard
– the fall of the cone cup is near.

Oogling Over Google Glasses

Google Glasses

As seen in Pegasus Pages (June 2013).

By Rebecca MacKay

Our world is about to experience a technological revolution: the Google Glasses. Many of you will know that the Google Glasses are on the verge of release. They are literally the stuff of sci-fi dreams. But are they necessarily a good thing?

Could Anyone Who Actually Saw Cumberbatch Please Step Forward?

06/07/2011 20:16

By Rebecca MacKay

The Wait. We have waited for so very long, yet we remain faithful until the end.

For those of you who know what I’m referring to, we are at an exciting point in time. To those who don’t, this probably sounds like the introduction to an epic fable of immense happiness, tragic love, and unending despair – which in some ways, it is.

Now you’re all wondering what this is all about, aren’t you?


A Morning of Mayhem on Muck-Up Day 2013


By Isabella Crane

Yesterday was the one day of the year when the Leavers take total control of the school, wreaking havoc on any and all sensible activity throughout the morning.

iDon’t Choose iTunes


As seen in Pegasus Pages (March 2013).

By Rebecca MacKay

If you were to purchase a DVD in today’s society, I guarantee at least one person would ask, ‘Why?’ Think about when you last bought a movie. And I mean a physical movie, one that you can hold and cuddle and place in the DVD player of your TV. You can’t remember, can you?

Is That Even a Sport?

cheese rolling

By Izzy Hunter

As seen in Pegasus Pages, March 2013.

CLC has a great variety of sports on offer, but here are a few more that you perhaps might want to consider…

The Girl in the Pin-Striped Trousers: Did You Really Just Eat That?


By The Girl in the Pin-Striped Trousers

As seen in Pegasus Pages, March 2013.

I’ve discovered today that no amount of willpower or determination will ever make me eat snails. I realise this is a random and fairly strange realisation but nonetheless, it is important. Bear with me and I shall explain.

The Horrors of Horoscopes: Please don’t make me marry a set of scales


By Rebecca MacKay

It has come to my recent attention that superstition has infected our society like a malevolent virus. Again.

Let me clarify. By superstition, I don’t just mean black cats, broken mirrors, and ladders, but more ‘I was born in August so I’m going to find my husband in March.’ Yes, I am talking of horoscopes.

Aunty Athena: Pegasus in Pain

As seen in Pegasus Pages (December 2012).

Our lovely Aunty Athena gives friendly advice to our readers.

Dear Aunty Athena, 

I am suffering from a severe addiction and I’ve tried everything – phone lines, help groups, discussions with my tutor and Housemistress… Yes, I am addicted to Pegasus Pages. I check the website everyday. I am subscribed on emails, Twitter, and Facebook.What can I do? It’s starting to take over my life.

Christmas in a Box

Christmas Lights

By Mr Todd

As seen in Pegasus Pages (December 2012).

Christmas isn’t the same any more. Traditions we used to hold dear have vanished. I don’t mean the turkey, the carol singing and the fight between the Sound of Music fans and the Wizard of Ozians (Ozophiles?). That’s all fine. The real problem is that the Fairy Lights work.

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