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Tag Archives: Opinion

A Word (or Two) on Robin Thicke

Robin Thicke

By Safa

My first impression on Robin Thicke is not a favourable one. This is none of his fault, as he cannot help the way that he fundamentally looks, but I still cannot warm to him, at all. The reason is because his face looks like Simon Cowell’s, sans Botox and ever-present lascivious smirk.  Well, maybe the second part is untrue, because once I saw the Blurred Lines video, his future became horrifyingly clear: the rag mag covers, proclamations of how much he enjoyed ‘last night’ with both dwarf sisters, or garden gnomes, or Katie Price/Amanda Bynes (the American Version).

20 Things to Avoid if You Are a Fanatic Facebook Freak

Facebook

By Cyber Jellyfish

Dear all Fanatic Facebook Freaks,

Please take careful note of the below points of what your most annoying social networking habits are. This is for the good of humanity, to prevent depression and suicide among other Facebook users, and just generally to prove that human kind is redeemable. The misuse and abuse of Facebook currently indicates that it is not, to the extent that the newsfeed pollution I have been forced to scroll through makes social networking a painful experience every weekend (because we only ever go on Facebook at the weekends, obviously).

Spherical Cups New to GCR

By I’ll Have Fries with that Satire

It has been reported that sphere-shaped cups are being rolled into action at water coolers and milk machines around College.

“They’re really fun to play with,” says an LC1. “But not so fun as to make me late to Period 5 or to miss the 1s’ Bookie Breaktime.”

Creative and circular, these cups of joy are multi-purpose and can be used to play croquet on the lawn outside in the summer months, or to kick around and ‘play ball’ and generally do exercise, if you like that sort of thing. They’ve been an instant hit around Lower College, next to the jugs of squash.

It has been noted that they also really help to bring textbooks to life; Maths teachers have been seen to be scavenging the bins, feverishly un-crumpling the rubbished cups to use as visual aids in their GCSE classes.

As ever, The Environmental Club pledges that they’re 100% eco-friendly. A spokesman comments: “They are biodegradable and are recycled from old toilet paper. They’ve been sterilised. I think.”

Cone Half Full or Half Empty?

By Sam Goh

DISCLAIMER:I am aware that they stopped giving us custard donuts a’er my previous article. Fingers crossed for better luck here. ASK anyone studying at CLC and they will gladly speak of the oppressive and overbearing presence that the infamous cone cup has upon us. Today, we reminisce about the glory days of when cups could actually stand on flat surfaces.

The days when we had been bestowed with the almighty plastic (and more importantly, flat-bottomed) cup; the days when we didn’t require multiple refills of water just to quench the eternal thirst of the prep- ravaged CLC girl, and above all, the days when the cups weren’t shaped so that the milk machine inevitably spurts milk all over your hand (yes, you know what I’m talking about).

Admittedly though, if the purpose of the cone cup was to stop girls from using disposable cups and bringing their own water bottles, they have been quite a success. But then again, if their purpose was also to drive those of us without the sense to bring a state-of-the-art ‘Bobble’ water bottle to the brink of dehydration, it has also been quite a success.

First of all, let me ask you: when was the last time in College you used a cup that was able to stand on its own without having to be propped up by your hand or wedged between tables? Indeed, it has been a while. Yet one wonders what merit there is in having a pointy-tip rather than a nice, flat bottom. None. Hang on a second – why were pointy cones even invented?

And who here hasn’t complained about the almost disgustingly diminutive size of the cone cup? Nothing less than two refills are required so as to even hold a candle to the enormous water-carrying capacity of the plastic cup and at least three refills to properly occupy the behemothic, concave abyss that are our mouths. How are we meant to continue to uphold the reputation of academic, dignified CLC girls if our brains are withering from fluid deficiency? Not to mention the excessive amounts of water required by females so as to uphold our transcendent superiority above the male race.

And of course: milk. Everyone loves milk. So pure, so white, chock- full of calcium (bye bye osteoporosis) and triacylglycrols… What’s there not to love? Yet the cone cup has proved quite a hindrance in our attempts to obtain this milk. It it has come to our (most devastated) attention that the dynamics of the cup were constructed such that it lacks the damping ability which would be required to dissipate the large amounts of kinetic energy in the milk and properly contend with the outburst and ridiculously accelerated velocity at which the milk machine excretes milk. Put simply, it requires much skill and talent to be able to dispense milk from the milk machine without it spurting explosively everywhere. It’s happened to all of us.

However, of late we have seen signs of rebellion, little glimmers of hope. Ever since the Christmas holidays, there have been those glorious days of victory where the plastic cups have prevailed and reappeared.

I hear it in the wind; a revolution is coming. Our pleas for change are not going unheard
– the fall of the cone cup is near.

The Dangers of Social Networking

Facebook

By Elizka Watt

As seen in Pegasus Pages (June 2013).

I am not on Facebook.  Nor am I on Twitter.  Nor Bebo.  Nor MySpace.  Nor Tumblr, nor YouTube, nor any of the varied and diverse Social Networks out there. When people ask me as to why I am not, I grow tired of explaining the intricacies of the dangerous world of cyber communication.  When people tell me of the “good” of social networking sites, I want to shake them out of sheer despair, especially when I’ve recently given them a lecture on the subject. Those of you who know me will know I enjoy lecturing. Sorry, everybody.

Mumbles of a Medic: No Pain, No Gain

stethoscope

(As seen in Pegasus Pages, June 2013)

Mumbles of a Medic, by aspiring medic, Sahaj Kaur

‘The pain is there to help you; stop moaning’

This was a stimulus for a previous BioMedical Admissions Test essay question and it got me thinking, to what extent is this statement true?

Oogling Over Google Glasses

Google Glasses

As seen in Pegasus Pages (June 2013).

By Rebecca MacKay

Our world is about to experience a technological revolution: the Google Glasses. Many of you will know that the Google Glasses are on the verge of release. They are literally the stuff of sci-fi dreams. But are they necessarily a good thing?

Our Obsession with Vampires

Vampire

As seen in Pegasus Pages, March 2013.

By Isabella Crane

Even if you aren’t completely Vampire-obsessed, if you’re a teenage girl I can pretty much guarantee you’ve read or watched at least one book/TV show somehow connected to the un-dead.

iDon’t Choose iTunes

CDs

As seen in Pegasus Pages (March 2013).

By Rebecca MacKay

If you were to purchase a DVD in today’s society, I guarantee at least one person would ask, ‘Why?’ Think about when you last bought a movie. And I mean a physical movie, one that you can hold and cuddle and place in the DVD player of your TV. You can’t remember, can you?

The Girl in the Pin-Striped Trousers: Life, Hygiene, and Me

Milk bath

A new column by:

The Girl in the Pinstriped Trousers

Considering the ridiculously embarrassing-for-me-but-amusing-to-others life I have led up to this point, it would be really quite selfish not to share it with the world. Or at least the small fraction of the world that wants to know. That’s you. Yes, you, the one reading this.

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